5Make It SafeHow to Make It Safe to Talk about Almost Anything

They had lived together for so many years that they mistook their arguments for conversation.—MARJORIE KELLOGG

The last chapter contained a promise: If you spot safety risks as they happen, you can step out of the conversation, build safety, and then find a way to dialogue about almost anything. In this chapter we’ll fulfill that promise by teaching what it takes to restore safety.

To get started, let’s examine a situation where safety is at risk. We’ll eavesdrop on a couple as they try to discuss one of the most delicate of topics—physical intimacy.

First a little background. Jotham thinks he and Yvonne are intimate with each other far too seldom. Yvonne is satisfied with their physical ...

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