Designing Social Interfaces, 2nd Edition

Chapter 14. One of Us, One of Us

I used to think of all the billions of people in the world, and of all those people, how was I going to meet the right ones? The right ones to be friends, the right one to be my husband. Now I just believe you meet the people you’re supposed to meet.

—DIANE FROLOV, NORTHERN EXPOSURE, “THE QUEST,” 1995

only one.

—C.S. LEWIS

Relationships

HAVING A GROUP OF PEOPLE TO HANG OUT WITH, communicate with, and participate with is key to the successful social experience. One of the worst problems is to show up somewhere and find that you’re alone. The ability to find friends and make them a part of your circle for participation is one of the key interactions to design when building a social site. It used to be that the first impulse was to simply import all contacts from the variety of address books a user might have. This process, like casting a large net into the ocean and hoping for the best, doesn’t help filter out meaningful relationships. Not all contacts are equal. I might have my aunt and my accountant in my address book, but I don’t necessarily want them as friends on Facebook.

The strength of ties in relationships and the type of site and network being encouraged all need to be considered when offering ways for users to build relationships—whether casual, professional, or for dating. Additionally, the context surrounding these relationships needs to be considered when developing the circles of friendship or one-on-one connections. Do mutual friends enhance ...