“I don't really know if I like myself,” the Client said, frankly. The Coach had asked for radical honesty and had promised the same. “I don't know if I want to commit to the guy who overplans and underdelivers and finds fault with himself and others at every possible turn.” He explained how his division was struggling amid massive market changes. Bids were lost. His team had survived a pandemic, but new products and new competitors were turning every effort into a struggle. His identity was tied to a losing battle, and he wanted out.
“I want to know how to commit to the self or my ‘self’ or some kind of ‘self-life’ where I see the self that I can believe in.”
The Coach folded his hands in his lap.
The Client continued, “I had a corporate coach, when I was in management, and she used to tell me to believe in myself. I asked her which self I should believe in – the self that just ate a bag of Oreos, or the self that yelled at Josh in accounting (he deserved it), or the self that lost out on the promotion to a board member's nephew? 'Cause all of those ‘selves’ are right here and available, I told her. Right here on my ‘self-shelf,’ which I thought was kinda clever. She didn't. She shifted gears and started talking about my attitude. Said I had an appetite for confrontation ...
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