Schematic illustration of a triangle with the text labeled, A new identity. An illustration of text reads, when life takes away, something of greater value is always given in return.

“Let's take a walk,” the Coach said. The men went through the back patio doors, around the house, and exited through a large iron gate at the side of the Coach's house. Once they reached the sidewalk, the Coach wondered if the Client would consider identity in a new way.

“When we spoke, my snowboarding client and I, she began to see that her identity in the office looked really fixed and rigid. Like a mindset, you might say. But when she considered what happened on the slopes, she saw that who she was was not fixed. Her identity wasn't something rigid, where she always had to stumble and falter in high-pressure situations.

“She saw that in the office she was responding to being in a new job – like anyone would. She was hesitant to begin offering guidance or opinions too quickly. It wasn't a pattern of behavior or personality flaw or failure in her identity or anything like that. What she originally called an issue she came to see as some wisdom. She saw that taking her time wasn't an error but part of the necessary learning so that she could get comfortable with her new role. When she accessed some compassion and understanding for herself, she began to realize that the woman on the snow and the woman in the office were the same person. She was able to ‘zoom out’ on the situation, ...

Get Easier now with the O’Reilly learning platform.

O’Reilly members experience books, live events, courses curated by job role, and more from O’Reilly and nearly 200 top publishers.