Chapter 18. Ten Ways to Help Difficult People with Their Emotional Intelligence
In This Chapter
Approaching a difficult person
Getting the message across
Helping the other person change
Dealing with a person who refuses to change
Do you know someone who needs to change the way he relates to others? Everyone knows somebody who could benefit from increasing her emotional intelligence. You might be very close to this person (a significant other or a child), you might see him regularly (a co-worker or fellow student), or you may have just encountered her (a stranger at the supermarket or another driver).
Is it your duty to get involved in changing someone else? What risks do you face when you try to change another person's behavior? When dealing with people who are close to you and whose relationship you cherish, you have a higher obligation to try to influence them, in the best interest of the relationship. When you change how someone interacts with you, you affect multiple relationships in which that person is involved. Convincing a husband to be more caring with his wife may also influence his relationship with his children.
When it comes to strangers, you might want to weigh the consequences. Although you may not personally benefit from correcting a stranger's rude behavior, you may think of it as your contribution to making the world a better place. Of course, there may be little opportunity to change a stranger's behavior in a short-term encounter.
Taking the Indirect Approach
You can ...