book

Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers: The People Skills You Need to Achieve Outstanding Results

by Anthony C. Mersino

July 2007

Intermediate to advanced

264 pages

6h 27m

English

AMACOM

Read now

Unlock full access

A Dangerous SituationEmotional Mastery for Project ManagersProject Management Is CompetitiveWhat Is Emotional Intelligence?Measuring Your Emotional IntelligenceThe Good News About Emotional IntelligenceApplying Emotional Intelligence to Project Management1. Develop Stakeholder Relationships That Support the Project’s Success2. Anticipate and Avoid Emotional Breakdowns3. Deal with Difficult Team Members and Manage Conflict4. Leverage Emotional Information to Make Better Decisions5. Communicate More Effectively6. Create a Positive Work Environment and High Team Morale7. Cast a Vision for Shared Project Objectives That Will Attract, Inspire, and Motivate the Project TeamEmotional Intelligence Is Vital to Project Managers
The Popularity of Emotional IntelligenceSome Useful DefinitionsEmotionsEmotional IntelligenceSelf-AwarenessSelf-ManagementSocial AwarenessRelationship ManagementTeam LeadershipHow to Improve Your Understanding of Emotional Intelligence ConceptsMagazines and Journals on Emotional IntelligenceBooks on Emotional IntelligenceTake a CourseBlogs and Web Sites Related to Emotional IntelligenceCoaches and MentorsAssessmentsLearning About Emotional Intelligence Is Only the First Step
Introduction to Self-AwarenessSelf-Awareness Is the Starting Point for Emotional IntelligenceEmotional Self-AwarenessGetting Physical with Our FeelingsWrite It OutEmotional Red Flags1. Inappropriate Humor2. Use of Sarcasm3. Passive Aggressive Behavior4. Playing the Victim5. HostilityEmotional Self-Awareness Is ImportantAccurate Self-AssessmentSelf-ConfidenceTechniques to Improve Your Self-Awareness1. Keep a Feelings Journal2. Track Emotions with a Tally Sheet3. Conduct a Physical Inventory4. Checking Your Face in the Mirror5. Use Paired Sharing6. Backtrack7. Use Quiet Time
The Emotional Intelligence Model for Project ManagementSelf-Awareness Precedes Self-ManagementSelf-ControlWhat Is Self-Control?Negative Feelings Can Cripple a TeamSelf-Control Is for All EmotionsSelf-Control Helps Us Avoid Emotional Breakdowns1. Angry Tirades2. Door Slamming3. E-mail Letter Bomb4. Withdrawal and Isolation5. Holding Grudges and Getting Even6. Criticizing7. Sarcasm and Inappropriate Humor8. Playing the VictimEmotional Breakdowns May Be Preceded by Emotional TriggersMoods and Attitudes of Others1. Who Is It?2. Why Is It?3. Cut the Cord4. Don’t Take It PersonallyPrethinking or Foreshadowing1. Identify the Pattern2. Interrupt the Foreshadowing with LogicDwellingBecome AwareGet ClearRechargeBreak the LinkDon’t Try NOT to Think About ItRelaxTease YourselfSeek Professional HelpHot Words and Hot ButtonsGive Yourself a CheckupGet a Second OpinionGo Beyond the Hot ButtonCriticism and BlameMy Own Worst EnemyLook AheadCheck It OutThe New WheatiesCould Be Just ThemDoesn’t Change AnythingSet a Mistake QuotaPhysical EnvironmentIllness and FatigueReduce Your Vulnerability to Emotional TriggersKnow ThyselfEvaluate Your Physical EnvironmentTake Care of Yourself and Stay HealthySharpen the SawAvoid Long Work WeeksGet SupportStinking Thinking Can Cause Emotional Breakdowns1. All or Nothing Thinking2. Always and Never3. Being Negative4. Filling in the Blanks5. Should Statements6. Personalization and BlameIdentifying Your Own Patterns of Stinking ThinkingJournalGet Help from a FriendSeek Professional HelpGood News About Emotional BreakdownsTechniques to Improve Our Self-ManagementA Three-Step Process for Self-ManagementStep 1—Identify the FeelingStep 2—Determine the Underlying CauseStep 3—Take Action to Get ClearThe Do-OverAdditional Techniques for Self-Control and Self-Management1. Reduce Your Stress Level2. Conduct an Inner Dialog of Self-Parenting3. Talk It Out with Someone4. Give Yourself a Time Out5. Write a Letter or E-Mail You Will Not Send6. Use Appropriate Humor7. Take Care of Yourself
An Introduction to Social AwarenessWhat the Experts Say About Social AwarenessEmpathy1. Self-Orientation2. Results First3. Tough Stuff4. We Are Smarter Than OthersEmpathetic Listening1. Let Others Speak2. Maintain Eye Contact3. Give the Speaker Your Full Attention4. Playback and Summarize5. Orient to Emotions6. Try on Their Shoes7. Suspend Our JudgmentSeeing Others ClearlyHow Do We See Others Clearly?1. Filters and Biases2. Imposing Our Own Autobiography3. We Take Shortcuts for EfficiencyIdentifying the Modus Operandi (MO) of Those You Work WithTechniques to Improve on Seeing Others Clearly1. Recognize Our Own Biases2. Practice Studying Others3. Use the Emotional Assessment ChecklistOrganizational AwarenessKey Power RelationshipsUnderstanding the Values and Culture of the OrganizationEmotional BoundariesWarning Signs of Emotional Boundary IssuesMoods and Feelings of OthersPleasing OthersVictim-Like BehaviorCannot Express Wants and NeedsRespect Emotional BoundariesRespond AppropriatelyTake ResponsibilityLet Them BeYou Cannot Fix Other PeopleBetter Communications Around BoundariesSeek Professional HelpTechniques for Improving Our Social Awareness1. Improve Your Empathetic Listening Skills2. Take a Class on Listening Skills3. Track Emotions During Team Meetings4. Identify Emotional Red Flags in Others5. Mirror Emotions6. Go to School7. Track Your Own Emotions8. Keep a Journal9. Explore and Learn About People10. Systematically Dissect the Organizational Culture11. Assess Your Project Team12. Assess Yourself on Organizational Awareness13. Practice Social Awareness During Movies

An Introduction to Relationship ManagementProjects Are a Team EffortPMs Often Lack Direct AuthorityPMs Compete for ResourcesPMs Need to NegotiatePMs Are CommunicatorsWhat the Experts Say About Relationship ManagementThe PM Framework for Emotional IntelligenceStakeholder RelationshipsIdentify Project StakeholdersCollect and Analyze Information About the StakeholdersStakeholder PriorityRole on the ProjectPosition Relative to the ProjectStakeholder ObjectivesFacts, Passions, and Areas of InterestCommunication StyleEmotional Intelligence Assessment ChecklistEmotional ConnectionsInformation Overload?Develop Relationships Strategies1. The Direct Approach2. The Indirect Approach3. Talk to My People4. Keep Your Friends Close5. Delegate Responsibility for the RelationshipAction Steps to Nurture the Relationship1. Regular One-on-One Meetings2. Customized Project Briefing Reports3. After-Hours Meetings4. Maintain an Action Log and Follow Up Regularly5. Lunch MeetingsManage Stakeholder RelationshipsThe Division Vice PresidentConsulting FirmTechnology VendorRookie Mistake—Focusing Only on the Project TeamDeveloping OthersAcknowledge Strengths and ContributionsTargeted FeedbackStick to the FactsFocus on the PositiveBe As Clear As PossibleMake It AccurateKeep It As Objective As PossibleInvest, Don’t PunishCoaching, Mentoring, and Work AssignmentsTelling the TruthTechniques for Truth TellingProviding Your ReactionSaying NoUsing “I Like / I Dislike” StatementsUsing “I Need” and “I Want” StatementsStating Your Beliefs or JudgmentsGetting ClearKeep Short AccountsThe Importance of CourageAdditional Principles of Relationship BuildingTrustworthinessCo-Creation—Results We Create TogetherCo-Creation Corollary—I Think I’ve Been Here BeforeWorking with Problem PeopleMicromanagers and CriticsDishonest EmployeesCavemenAddicts and the Mentally Impaired1. Stick to Business and Avoid Direct Confrontations2. Document Everything3. Seek Help4. Refocus Your Energies5. Consider a Move6. Most Important, Don’t Take It PersonallyTechniques for Managing Relationships on Projects1. Apply the Emotional Intelligence Basics2. Stakeholder Management Tool3. Regular One-on-One Meetings4. Out to Lunch!5. Use Icebreakers and Teambuilding Exercises6. Develop Others by Becoming a Coach and Mentor7. Recognize Others8. Assessment Instruments9. Practice Truth Telling Techniques10. Evaluate How You Are Co-Creating Your Outcomes11. What Are Your Relationship Patterns?12. Enroll an Accountability Partner
Introduction to Project Team LeadershipWhat the Experts Say About Team LeadershipCommunicationsCommunicating with Emotional IntelligenceDetermine Your ObjectiveUnderstand Your Own EmotionsChoose an Appropriate Time, Place, and ModeApproach Others with EmpathyListen and Respond to the Emotions of OthersShare Your Own Emotions When AppropriateCheck for Understanding and ReactionsMethods of Project CommunicationsUse E-Mail and IM CarefullyImproving Your MeetingsNon-Verbal CommunicationsCongruence in CommunicationsConflict ManagementConflict Is InevitableConflict May Be HealthyConflict Management Is the PM’s JobRecognizing That We Have a ConflictTraditional Approaches to Conflict ManagementCompromisingSmoothing or AccommodatingForcingAvoiding or WithdrawingConfrontation or CollaborationApplying Emotional Intelligence to Conflict ResolutionYou Might Just Be the CauseInspirational LeadershipVision CastingAdditional Considerations for Team LeadersBuilding the Project TeamSelecting Project Team MembersImpact of Organization Structure on Getting ResourcesSelecting Resources in the Functional OrganizationSelecting Resources in the Matrix OrganizationsSelecting Resources in the Projectized OrganizationsTips for Interviewing Team MembersJudicious Use of Others to InterviewFace-to-Face InterviewsSpecific Hiring QualitiesTemplate for Comparing Apples to ApplesRetaining Team MembersRemoving Members from the TeamBetter Decisions Through Emotional IntelligenceGetting SupportTechniques for Improving Project Team Leadership1. Techniques to Improve Team Communications2. Techniques for Conflict Management3. Create a Mission, Vision, and Values Statement for Your Project Team4. Cast a Vision for the Team5. Become a Talent Scout6. Become Systematic About Screening and Hiring Resources7. Tools to Address Team Strengths and Weaknesses8. Expand Your Support Base
What Makes a Great Project TeamA World of DifferenceResonance and Dissonance in Project LeadersHow PMs Set the Tone and Direction for the ProjectEstablish Team ValuesEnforce the RulesStanding Up to ManagementHold Others AccountableRecognize IndividualsThe Team Within the TeamNegative EnvironmentsTechniques for Creating a Positive Team Environment1. Assess How Team Members View the Team Environment2. Put It in Writing3. Establish Clear Accountability and Hold People to It4. Hold Others to Your Highest Vision for Them5. Catch People Doing Something Right6. 1001 Ways to Recognize People7. Fix Your Broken Windows
Are You Ready to Lead Large and Complex Projects?Characteristics of Large and Complex ProjectsStakeholder ConflictLayers of StaffVendors and SubcontractorsImportance to the OrganizationRole of the Project ManagerVirtual TeamsConcerns for Large-Scale Project ManagersIt’s Lonely at the TopRole of the Project Manager—DelegationImportance of Business Skills Versus People SkillsApplying Different Leadership StylesVisionary LeadershipCoaching StyleAffiliative StyleDemocratic StylePacesetting StyleCommanding StyleApplication of the Leadership StylesApplying Emotional Intelligence to Virtual Project TeamsThe Challenges of Virtual TeamsEmotional Intelligence Helps Virtual TeamsFace-to-Face MeetingsLeverage TechnologyMake Communications Work for EveryoneUse HumorBuild Relationships Off the CallEmotional Intelligence Techniques for Large and Complex Projects1. Learn to Identify Leadership Styles2. Identify Your Dominant Leadership Style3. Build New Leadership Muscles4. Improve Your Delegation Skills5. Check the Roster for Your Virtual Team6. Work on Relationships “Off the Call”
General Emotional Intelligence Training
Emotional Competence Inventory 360, from Daniel GolemanEQi, the BarOn Emotional Quotient Inventory, from Dr. BarOnThe MSCEIT, from John Mayer, Peter Salovey, and David CarusoEmotional Intelligence Appraisal, Me EditionIndex of Emotional IntelligenceSEI, Six Seconds Emotional Intelligence Assessment
Understanding of Emotional IntelligenceInterest in Learning More About Emotional IntelligenceHow PMs Learn About Emotional IntelligenceEmotional Intelligence Contributed to My Current Level of Success As a PMEmotional Intelligence Will Contribute to My Future Success As a PM

Overview

Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers introduces readers to the basic concepts of emotional intelligence and shows how to apply them to their project goals. Readers will learn how to:

Set the tone and direction for the project

Communicate more effectively

Improve listening skills

Create a positive work environment

Motivate, coach, and mentor team members

Productively handle stress, criticism, and blame

And more.

Complete with checklists and self-assessments, this handy guide enables project managers to apply these important skills to their projects right away.

Become an O’Reilly member and get unlimited access to this title plus top books and audiobooks from O’Reilly and nearly 200 top publishers, thousands of courses curated by job role, 150+ live events each month,
and much more.

Start your free trial

Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers

Anthony Mersino

Emotional Intelligence: Managing emotions to make a positive impact on your life and career

Gill Hasson

Self-Leadership: How to Become a More Successful, Efficient, and Effective Leader from the Inside Out

Andrew Bryant, Ana Lucia Kazan

Strategic Human Resource Management

Ananda Das Gupta

Publisher Resources

ISBN: 9780814474167