Emotional Intelligence

Chapter 7Feel it: Understanding others and the impact we have on them

A couple of years ago, I was hired by a large financial institution that was experiencing an increase in escalations and complaints reaching middle and even senior management. The senior exec team was concerned about why this was happening.

They had an active process with clear options for dealing with client complaints and the power to make quick decisions on solutions where appropriate.

We sat down and reviewed the process. They had put a lot of thought into it. If there was an error on their behalf, teams were empowered to waive up to a set financial amount, with their team leads having a slightly higher authority limit. The staff were encouraged to defuse the situation as quickly as possible while remaining professional and in solution mode.

After listening to a few of their recorded calls with customers, it was obvious that they had skipped the vital and most powerful step: empathy.

Empathy: the greatest skill of all

If we think back to those people in our lives who inspire us or who have left the biggest positive impact on us, we will notice that most of them have one skill in common: empathy. It is often confused with sympathy, but there is a big difference between the two.

Sympathy is feeling sorry for someone. It's understanding the situation they are in, genuinely feeling sorry that they are in it and having to go through it.

Empathy is recognising the emotional response someone is having and ...