Engagement

Introduction

THE RIME OF THE ANCIENT MARINER¹ TELLS of a sailor who bears the curse of an albatross—a giant seabird—wrapped around his neck. He escapes this burden only when he becomes more open to the world and himself. When you find yourself at wit's end looking for some way to cope with a difficult person in your life, you've met your albatross. Like the mariner, cursing the bird or bending under its weight will only keep you adrift. The way out begins with engagement: finding ways to see more (and more clearly), identify new possibilities, and appreciate the benefits—even the beauty—in learning to navigate the rough waters. This deep engagement is sustained by a commitment to sort out all you face, and confidence that you've got what it takes to reach a safe harbor.

This book will help you develop the skills and strategies you need to cope with difficult relationships. Think about how you currently deal with the unusually prickly, taxing, or toxic folks who block progress, undermine your confidence, leave chaos in their wake, and cause a disproportionate share of headaches and sleepless nights. Like black holes, these difficult people suck up too much time and energy as you (and often others) struggle to live and work productively with them. They might come in the form of a problem employee, bully boss, chronically complaining coworker, mean-spirited associate, Machiavellian teammate, or troubled colleague. We all have stories to tell that end badly because we find ourselves ...