Everybody Writes, 2nd Edition

52Your Brand Story: Tell the Story Only You Can Tell

Avoid Messaging Karaoke

This is actual copy, cut and pasted from the home page of an actual public accounting firm:

<Name> is a full-service, certified public accounting practice located in <city> whose objective is to provide timely and accurate professional services. The firm was established in 2002. <Name> is a growing firm and has the capacity available to professionally service new accounts.

This is a press release that landed in my inbox five minutes ago from a Fortune 500 … uh … “solution”:

Released today, <name> enables businesses to monitor consumer online chat about their brand and competition, and take action to improve their performance and provide a differentiated customer experience.

And another press release:

We have a proven ability to deliver highly impactful results for our clients by leveraging a variety of data sources and advanced analytic approaches.

One more. This is from a LinkedIn company page profile:

<Name> is a contemporary, future-focused consulting services company equipped for the next era of business with the latest in management thinking and enabled by cutting-edge Web technology and services. We are building innovative next generation business models and performance improvement capabilities for large corporations highly differentiated by a commingling of new and emerging specialized competencies.

All those buzzwords make me feel sad for the poor copywriters. They were likely browbeaten ...