Fit

CHAPTER 6 RECOGNISING WHAT'S DRIVING YOU FROM THE INSIDE

Our bright-side personality is our normal behaviour on a good or low-stress day, and our dark-side personality is our behaviour on a bad day or when we're under pressure. This chapter explores what's really driving both of those expressions — from the inside.

When we are in an environment, role or position that fits with what we feel, value and are motivated by from the inside, we feel as though we belong; the experience is usually enjoyable and our performance is higher. Conversely, if we accept roles or pursue opportunities that go against what we feel, value and are internally motivated by, we will eventually find the experience demoralising and difficult. It's incredibly hard to maintain high performance when the role, culture or environment does not match or fit with the person we are on the inside.

We live, work and play in groups and we have all developed unique ways of getting along with others, getting ahead and making meaning in the world. And it is meaning that often influences how we get along and get ahead. In the course of my work this is driven home to me on an almost daily basis. For example, I am very low Recognition (which I explain in more detail later in this chapter, but it's about the need to be recognised and validated). I remember working on a project several years ago with one particular woman and we were not really getting along. There wasn't any conflict but we just seemed to rub each other ...