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Fixing Feedback by Georgia Murch

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Chapter 9 Climb out of the thinking trap

As explained in chapter 8, we all have unhealthy thinking patterns that affect how we make decisions and build relationships. Accepting and acknowledging them is the first step. The next is choosing to take some action and climb out of the thinking traps we can so easily fall into.

There are some tools that are well-suited to managing individual BODs; in this chapter, without being too specific I highlight the main ones that typically result in significant shifts in thinking and behaviours.

Stay in your lane

Imagine if we chose to own our part of every interaction we had? While the term ‘stay in your lane’ is not new, it first became known and real to me when I was a participant in a program called Insight run by Bev McInnes. Insight was a program aimed at understanding how our behaviours and mindsets are affected by what has happened to us during our life.

Insight was specifically focused on painful circumstances or experiences that we have gone through — whether we were conscious of this pain or not, it needed more digging. It was a full-on program in terms of the vulnerability it required, but it was life-changing at the same time.

One of the premises of the program was the need for us to focus on how our experiences affected us personally. Not how they changed our brothers, or sisters, or parents or carers, or those around us.

It wasn't about trying to analyse why the person who affected us did what they did. It wasn't about having ...

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