CHAPTER SEVEN
Comparing
How to Break YourHeart Every Time
IN THE WORLD OF SOCIAL SCIENCES, the technical term for comparing ourselves with others is social relativity. It is the process of using external measures to determine how we think we are doing, of defining our successes by external criteria. This process begins early in life, and it is instilled in us by many factors. In fact, the process is so baked into everything we experience that it often feels like we have no control over the emotions that cause us to compare ourselves to others. It becomes a reflex rather than a calculated action. In certain cultures, the process of comparing impacts behavior all the time and in every way.
Within the Morgan Stanley culture, managing directors compared ...
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