Getting Along

9

The Biased Coworker

“Why are you so sensitive?”

During the seven years that Aliyah worked at a large global media company, she had six or seven different managers. “Honestly, I lost track at some point,” she told me. Most of those bosses were “just fine,” and a few were supportive of Aliyah and her aspirations to become a director of sales development. But there was one manager, Ted, who she found particularly difficult. She could tell from the start that Ted wasn’t entirely comfortable around her. “It was like he was always trying to choose his words carefully, which is ironic because he said a lot of stupid things,” she says.

One of Ted’s constant refrains was, “You should smile more.” When Aliyah pointed out that he probably didn’t say ...