HBR Guide to Navigating the Toxic Workplace

CHAPTER 8

When Your Manager Is Gaslighting You

by Mary Abbajay

Nobody should suffer at the hands of a toxic boss. And gaslighting is a particularly nefarious form of toxicity due to its subtle and insidious nature. While it is easy to spot toxic leaders who scream, bully, and abuse publicly, gaslighting behavior is much more covert. Gaslighters know how to fly under the radar. They are adept at undermining an employee’s self-esteem, confidence, and sense of reality in subtle, sneaky, and hard-to-prove ways. It’s often your word against theirs, which makes going to other leaders or HR difficult. To make matters worse, their manipulative behaviors—while despicable and destructive—often don’t break any specific company policies.

It’s nearly impossible ...