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Healing the Wounds: Overcoming the Trauma of Layoffs and Revitalizing Downsized Organizations by David M. Noer

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9.5. Letting Go

Codependents feel compelled to control others. "We nag; lecture; scream; holler; cry; beg; bribe; coerce; hover over; protect; accuse; chase after; run away from; try to talk into; try to talk out of; attempt to induce guilt in" the other person (Beattie, 1987, p. 69). When they are controlling another's behavior, codependents often operate outside reality. If you are a codependent, you will try to "force life's events to unravel and unfold in the manner and at such times as you have designated. Do not let what's happening, or what might happen occur. Hold on tightly and don't let go. We have written the play, and will see to it that the actors behave and the scenes unfold exactly as we have decided they should. Never mind that ...

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