How I Rob Banks

Chapter 11My First Kidnapping

Everyone remembers the first time they kidnap someone: the rush of adrenaline, the fear of it going terribly wrong, the sense of urgency, and how wrong it feels.

I have been fortunate enough to do some insanely cool things in my extensive career. I have been flown around the world to interesting and beautiful places. Due to childhood trauma, I do not have the best memory for faces and names. However, I always remember a building if I have broken into it. In some cities, I can navigate just by using these landmarks in my head.

One such place will live in my mind forever because I was able to kidnap someone there. This is not something a non-criminal normally ever does. So, it's an understatement to say that it was a “can't buy this” experience.

I say this was my first kidnapping, but really I mean it was my first commercial one. (The rest were silly hazing rituals.) So I came to this with a bit of experience.

I had a client with a particular problem that needed to be checked. Like almost every bank in the world, they had lots of computers: not laptops or desktops like you may be used to, but large, powerful machines called servers. Such servers are the backbone of a bank through which every transaction travels—every stock trade and savings account, billions of dollars in 1s and 0s that make up the binary world I help keep secure.

Servers generate a lot of heat and use a lot of electricity. They need to communicate with each other as quickly as possible, ...