How to Influence People, 2nd Edition

CHAPTER 2Tool number 2: the butterfly

The number one thing that holds people back is fear.

This fear is perfectly normal. It usually manifests itself in the pit of your stomach where you feel a flutter of anxiety. It is a feeling that comes from the thought of picking up the phone or getting face to face with the client. It is so much easier if you don’t do these things. The fact of the matter is that the feeling goes away when you decide to email the proposal instead of presenting it. There is no direct rejection with email. For most people, an email rejection means that the client rejected the idea. Face-to-face rejection means they rejected you as a person.

So it is a lot easier to hide behind the e-wall. In fact, it is a lot easier to procrastinate or avoid the action that needs to be taken to be successful.

This flutter of anxiety shows up in many different scenarios. It could be any of these words that people say to themselves that create this anxiety:

• ‘I should pick up the phone and set up an appointment to go and see this client. I know I should do it. I don’t know — it’s just easier to email them this information.’
• ‘I should call the company and enquire about this new position. I should do it. I don’t know — I will probably just email them my CV. It’s easier to email it.’
• ‘I should go to that audition. I should go. I don’t know — I probably don’t have a chance at it anyway. Maybe I’ll skip it.’
• ‘I should call that person. I should call her or him. I don’t know — ...