Chapter Seven
If I’m Not Part of the Problem, There Is No Solution: Breaking Cycles of Contempt
Is there one word that can guide you for your whole life? Yes. It is reciprocity.
—Confucius
At a local bakery an employee took my order for a dozen bagels, brought a handful to the counter, and set to work slicing them. Her colleague, who was momentarily unoccupied, glanced at the pile, and without comment pitched in to help.
A few minutes later, as the second woman rang up my order I commented on her good-natured assistance and asked if lending a hand was something her company promoted. “No,” she said shyly, “not really. And, I don’t help everyone,” she was quick to add. “I just help people who help me.”
Although most people don’t recognize the ...
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