CHAPTER 2

How to Have Painless Conversations: The CANDID Approach

Let's take a survey: Talk with any ten people you know, and ask them what they would say to someone who is doing something really stupid.

Even though I don't know your ten friends, I suspect that I already know the results of your survey. (And by the way, if you don't have ten friends, you've come to the right book!) Unless your friends are exceptionally gifted in dealing with people, at least eight or nine of these people will probably reply by saying something to the effect of: “You are doing something really stupid.”

Let's switch places. Has anyone ever told you that you were doing something really stupid? Good! Now, I'd like you to tell me which sentence below would have best ...

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