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How You Can Talk to Anyone in Every Situation by Tim Fearon, Emma Sargent

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1
Chapter
3
The secrets of talking to
anyone with confidence
We’re all unique, thank heavens. How dull if we were all the
same. But we do have one thing in common. We’re all commu-
nicating, all the time. We’re built to communicate and connect.
But some of us really don’t enjoy it and think we’re not very
good at it. And sometimes, because we don’t enjoy it and think
we’re not very good at it, we go out of our way to avoid it.
What stops people talking to anyone in every
situation with confidence?
When we’ve asked this question of the people we work with
we’ve had a whole range of responses:
‘I don’t have anything to say.’
‘I can’t do small talk.’
‘I stumble over my words.’
‘I don’t think people like me.’
‘I’ll say something stupid.’
‘Standing up in public just scares the wits out of me.’
‘No one would be interested in what I have to say.’
‘I’m just not a very interesting person.’
‘I dry up when people ask me questions.’
‘I hate it when people look at me.’
‘I don’t like being around people.’
‘I can’t speak up with lots of people about.’ (‘Lots’ is different
for different people – pick any number you care to think of.)
HOW YOU CAN TALK TO ANYONE IN EVERY SITUATION
4
When we’ve asked what particular situations these people find
most difficult, the most common seem to be:
meeting strangers
dealing with people in authority doctors, teachers, lawyers,
the boss
parties
networking events
social ‘dos’
making a complaint
meetings at work
presentations
dealing with a difficult person/situation
any situation when there is more than one other person
present.
For some people it’s a minor inconvenience, for some it’s a
debilitating limitation on their ability to enjoy life and for others
it restricts significantly their ability to gain promotion and
advance their careers. Social situations – and by social situations
we mean ANYWHERE that people gather become the bane of
their lives.
S
o what are some of the reasons for steering clear of these
situations? Well, it can be a variety of things:
thinking that youre not interesting enough and that
everyone else is better at it than you
lack of confidence/self-esteem; sometimes triggered by a
negative experience in the past
not knowing what to do or how to do it; engage in conversa-
tion, build rapport, speak with confidence, ask questions, etc.
anxiety/fear – worrying about what you THINK might happen.
Whichever of these most accurately reflects your own experi-
ence, this book is packed with things to help you, so let’s start
the ball rolling by giving you some things to think about in rela-
tion to the issues we’ve outlined and a couple of really powerful

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