I Took the Only Path To See You

CHAPTER 10Dealing with Fear

Many people fear failure, so they avoid taking a chance. By avoiding chances, they also avoid success, which means the fear of failure virtually guarantees that they will fail. Sometimes the biggest failure doesn't appear as a dramatic bankruptcy or mistake in full view of thousands of people. Oftentimes the biggest failure appears disguised as a meek life of anonymity that nobody even knows about.

The fear of failure can paralyze you into inaction, but there's a second fear that's equally destructive and that's the fear of success. Now you might wonder why anyone would fear success, but it makes just as much sense as fearing failure.

When you fear failure, you're afraid of looking foolish and losing what you have. When you fear success, you're still afraid of looking foolish but worried about gaining what you don't have that could change your life in negative ways.

Watch many bands that suddenly hit it big. They rarely stay together for long after that burst of success thrusts them into the ranks of superstardom. Once they achieve the success they always dreamed about, they suddenly feel aimless and directionless. When you've achieved your dream and your life hasn't magically transformed into unending days of bliss and happiness, life suddenly appears empty and meaningless.

The problem doesn't lie in achieving your dreams but in what those dreams meant for you in the first place. In his book Drive, Daniel Pink identifies two general types of people ...