CHAPTER 5Humiliation, Shame, and Silence
MONTHS LATER, I STOOD BEFORE THE MEDICAL REVIEW board convened to assess my injuries from the series of falls while I was in the SEAL Teams and determine what, if any, financial compensation I should receive as a result of my injuries.
“Lieutenant. Doebler, I have to say, we were very curious to see you, a Navy SEAL officer, today. We are obviously aware of what happened to you and the recommendation that you be medically discharged from the United States Navy. However, it's hard to make a judgment because, if I can be honest, you look fine.”
This was my first experience with what we now understand to be invisible injuries. And it didn't get much better after this opening salvo.
Another board member chimed in: “Usually, it is easy to assess damages because the people who come in here are usually missing a limb or a hand or a finger—something that shows they have been injured. You look healthy and in great condition.”
A wave of emotions came over me. I felt angry that I was being put in a position to defend myself. “You asked me here! I'm being punished because I continued to take care of myself after I was injured?!” I wanted to scream. Then this thought raged through my mind as I stood there: “Do they think I'm here to beg for money?!”
I'm pretty sure a couple of other board members spoke, but I have no idea what they said. I was in a fog. I had no idea what to say or how to respond. In typical SEAL fashion, I decided to go on the offensive. ...
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