Ice Cold Leader

CHAPTER 11One Side of the Emotional Coin … Actions into Negative Consequences

Our Reactions to Our Emotions Are Just as Important

We all have our own unique demons when it comes to emotions. Sometimes those demons come from how we feel about our emotions. Yes, we have emotions about our emotions, and very often, those are the ones eating away at us in our unconscious mind.

For instance, perhaps you have a particularly challenging relationship with a family member, like a parent. Perhaps they make you angry. You might even have acknowledged, publicly or privately, that they make you angry. Yet, you can't seem to break the chains of your anger, or at least how you act on your anger.

You go through the process: TRIGGER (my mother makes me so mad when she talks to me like that!) to EMOTION (anger) to THINK and DECIDE (I want to act courteously and with a smile on my face toward her) to ACT (I act accordingly, and my Sunday dinner is without incident, but I am not feeling any better about the situation, and the tension in the air is palpable).

You go through the process, and the tension seems to build with every day and every interaction. You find yourself short and tense with your own family, friends, or co-workers. You seem to find the same anger or frustration you have with your mother everywhere. The process isn't working!

You're right, the process may not work in this case because anger isn't the emotion seated in your unconscious mind. You are not leaving anger unacknowledged ...