Impactful Inclusion Toolkit

ACTIVITY 28Reframe Difficult Conversations on Polarizing Topics

“You must let suffering speak if you want to hear the truth.”

—Cornell West

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Social inequity is more pronounced now than in previous decades—or at least more of us have become aware of it. We never know what's going to be served in the workplace from day to day. Between acts of hate and violence and movements to maintain or disrupt power, we can be just minutes away from crises or chaos at any moment in time. Sure, the work is constant, but the conditions under which we must perform can vary greatly from person to person. When a casual conversation with a colleague suddenly shifts to race, a polarizing political view, legislation impacting the LGBTQ+ community, or something else that makes us highly uncomfortable to talk about, we tend to avoid it all costs as such discussions can become extremely emotional (see Figure 28.1). We fear that anger and resentment may build or we'll be misunderstood, say the wrong thing, be thought of as racist, sexist, or homophobic, or worse—lose our job. Work relationships may be forever damaged. When the fight or flight response kicks in during difficult conversations, many will choose the flight every time. Rather than muster the courage to lean in, the option to quickly change the subject or abruptly remember that we're running late for a meeting lies just beneath the surface and is far more appealing. After all, we are wired to choose pleasure over pain.

Figure 28.1