Inflection Points

5WHAT'S YOUR PIANO MAN?

Very few people actually have a fully formed idea of what they really want, some central activity around which they base their life. When I explain this fact to clients, it often comes as a relief, as many of them feel like they're doing something wrong because they haven't discovered “their one true passion.”

Society glorifies people who are single-mindedly dedicated to a single pursuit. Because they possess a sheer, raw enthusiasm for a specific activity, they are the ones who tend to rise to the top of their respective field; yet they have a disproportionate visibility in society that leads us to believe that this clarity of purpose is normative—a default human quality that, if you lack it, you're somehow inadequate, aimless, or indecisive.

No one should feel inadequate for not having found their single-minded passion. It's very common; in fact, based on my coaching experience, I'd say 80 to 90% of people still aren't sure of their niche. That doesn't mean they lack ambition or purpose. Rather, it just means that most people who want to accomplish great things are not sure of which great things they want to accomplish.

I used to experience a certain envy for those people with an inborn passion that leads them definitively onto a certain path in life—those who seem to “just know” what they want to do and they do it. I had a friend whose overriding ambition, since the age of eight, was to sing and dance on Broadway. That's a notoriously difficult career ...