Interpersonal Negotiations

Table of contents

1. Cover Page
2. Title Page
3. Copyright Page
4. Contents
5. About This Course
6. How to Take This Course
7. 1 Essentials of Negotiating
   1. Two Views of Negotiating What Negotiating Is
   2. Negotiating Is a Process
      1. Negotiating Takes Place Between People
      2. Negotiating Is About Needs
      3. Every Negotiation Is Different
      4. Sometimes It’s Easy and Sometimes It Ain’t
   3. The Process, Or What’s Going On Here?
      1. Who’s Across the Table?
      2. What’s Going on over There?
      3. What’s Going on over Here?
      4. What’s Going on Between Us?
      5. Three Negotiating Criteria
   4. Negotiating Requires Willingness and Ability
   5. The Importance of Being Flexible
      1. Be Willing to Talk About Your Relationship
      2. Be Willing to Change Your Process
      3. Avoid Fixed Beliefs
      4. Be Patient
   6. The Objective: Meeting Needs
      1. Understand Others’ Needs
      2. Make It Easy for Others to Understand Your Needs
      3. Accept that Needs Are Valid
      4. The Five Basic Needs
      5. Listen on Two Levels
      6. Why Others Don’t Tell Us
      7. Needs vs. Solutions
   7. The Importance of Knowing the Rules
      1. Knowing the Rules Gives Us Options
   8. Negotiating Is a Process of Dissolving Blocks
      1. Blocks Exist for a Reason
      2. Use Others’ Energy for Your Mutual Advantage
      3. The Sources of Our Blocks
   9. Summary
   10. Review Questions
8. 2 How to Prepare for a Negotiation
   1. The Objective in Preparing for a Negotiation
   2. Step One: Prepare; Don’t React
      1. Triggering Events Can Keep Us from Preparing
      2. Use Triggering Events to Advantage in Preparing
   3. Step Two: Get the Facts
      1. Don’t Make False Assumptions
      2. Facts Checklist
      3. Explore the Data
      4. We Both Need the Same Data
   4. Step Three: Determine the Importance of the Current Situation
      1. Measuring Importance Tells Us What We Need
   5. Step Four: Clarify Needs and Distinguish Between Needs and Solutions
   6. Step Five: Generate Multiple Options
      1. What If We Don’t Know What to Do?
   7. Step Six: Know the Other Party
   8. Summary
   9. Review Questions
9. 3 You Get What You Believe
   1. Perceptions and Beliefs
      1. When We Believe that We Can
      2. When We Believe that We Can’t
      3. Others Mirror Our Beliefs
      4. Our Beliefs Need to Be “For Real”
   2. Beliefs Influence Our Negotiations
      1. Where Do Our Beliefs Come From?
      2. Beliefs Form a Filter System
      3. Everyone Has a Unique Filter
      4. Assume Different Perspectives
      5. False Assumptions Can Lead to Righteous Positions
   3. Self-limiting vs. Empowering Beliefs
      1. Self-limiting Beliefs
      2. Empowering Beliefs
   4. Beliefs Create Boundaries
      1. Show Stoppers
      2. Scorekeeper Beliefs
      3. Peacemaker Beliefs
      4. “I Need to Prove Myself” Beliefs
   5. What to Do with Our Self-limiting Beliefs
      1. Option One: Check Out the Data
      2. Option Two: Get Input from Others
      3. Option Three: Take It a Step at a Time
      4. Option Four: Resolve Past Issues
      5. Option Five: Take a Break
   6. Summary
   7. Review Questions
10. 4 Identify and Remove the Blocks
    1. Negotiating Equals Removing Blocks
    2. Blocks Within Us
       1. Beliefs that Stop Us
       2. Negotiate Fears Up Front
       3. Afraid They Will Get Angry
       4. Enough Time?
    3. Relationship Blocks
       1. Relationships Need to Be Safe
       2. Relationships Need to Be Respectful
       3. Relationships Need to Be Resolved
       4. Distinguish Between Problems and Conflicts
    4. Process Blocks
       1. Make It Safe
       2. Make It Fair
       3. Make It Effective
    5. Blocks in Applicable Criteria
       1. Lack of Established Standards
       2. Disagreement About Validity of Established Criteria
       3. Different Interpretations of Criteria
       4. How to Prevent Criteria Blocks
    6. Summary
    7. Review Questions
11. 5 Dealing with Difficult People
    1. Our Objective in Dealing with Difficult People
    2. Enforcers
       1. Enforcer Assumptions
       2. Enforcer Behaviors
       3. How to Respond to Enforcers
    3. Scorekeepers
       1. Scorekeeper Behaviors
       2. How to Respond to Scorekeepers
    4. Peacemakers
       1. Peacemaker Behaviors
       2. How to Respond to Peacemakers
    5. Rebel Producers
       1. Rebel Producer Assumptions
       2. Rebel Producer Behaviors
       3. How to Respond to Rebel Producers
    6. Summary
    7. Review Questions
12. Bibliography
13. The First Examination
14. The Practice Case
15. The Practice Case Solution
16. The Examination Case
17. Selected Readings
18. Index