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Just Listen by Keith Ferrazzi, Mark Goulston

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14

THE EMPATHY JOLT

Benefit: Transition a person from resisting to “willing to do” in a single step, by changing the dynamics of a relationship.

Great anger is more destructive than the sword.

—INDIAN PROVERB

Early in my career, I grew tired of listening to coworkers, couples, and family members who refused to listen to each other. I hated the “he said/she said” wars. I hated the zero-sum games. In these infantile debates, the best I could achieve was a temporary truce. More often, I felt like I was putting a temporary bandage on a gaping, hemorrhaging wound.

I had a name for the culprits in these situations: “ignorant blamers.” These were the people who treated communication as a blood sport, ranting relentlessly about another person’s failings ...

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