Kindly Review

6Feedback Styles

Unfortunately, feedback styles are not one size fits all. As diverse as your coworker's personalities are, so are their feedback styles. We are talking about feedback and review of ideas and work, not human resources reviews or annual reviews. We're talking about the day‐to‐day critique of your work.

Feedback styles are the types of energy people emit when giving someone else input on their work. They can range from helpful energy to toxic energy. Everyone has an energy in how they approach giving and receiving feedback.

The most important thing to keep in mind is that you will not be able to change someone else's feedback style. You can only manage how you react to that style. You can help them see how challenging their feedback style is, but they will always revert to their base style in a stressful situation.

Despite that, there's good news: You can manage feedback styles. You can help the process run more smoothly with a few simple tricks. It's about finding solutions to the things that drive your reviewer nuts and smoothing those edges.

In working with over 100 bosses in 10 years, I've seen a lot of feedback styles. From harsh to kind, I've experienced them all. With some folks, I need to give lots of guardrails to find constructive feedback. Other people need personalized processes and deadline schedules to get things done. I've adapted to everyone's style. It's not anyone's fault that they have a specific style. It's a blend of personality, past experiences, ...