Kindly Review

27Failure to Communicate

Sometimes the feedback you are receiving is not about your work. It's about your reviewer – a toxic relationship with a reviewer. You don't deserve that vibe.

It's a weird human thing, but sometimes people can't constructively talk to you about how to improve your professional life. Instead they use project reviews to belittle you, undermine you, and crush your soul.

When I worked at a child abuse prevention nonprofit, the moment that crushed my professional heart was when I read about primate studies and how even chimpanzees abuse and neglect their babies for no real reason. It's innate in some human DNA to be cruel and abusive. There are bad people. It's your job to GTFO.

It's also your responsibility to defend yourself and your work. No one will do this for you. Dealing with nasty criticism is a tricky process. It's a matter of taking the people out of the review and breaking down the feedback. Here are some ways to deal with unproductive criticism.

Don't Mess with the Bear

I have the luxury of working with my husband every day. We have a symbiotic work relationship that benefits each other's weaknesses. I win the business; he makes sure we get paid. I write the words, and he works with his creative team to make them pretty. Of course, it's more fluid than that, and he's a skilled writer too. But you get the point.

He's also my bruiser. If I'm having trouble managing a feedback style, I'll ask him to take it on. He's infinitely more patient and ...