Lead Like You

CHAPTER 6Finding our boundaries

Before I started doing my inner work, I had always struggled with setting boundaries and making self-care a priority in my life. Being super driven to succeed, I wanted to do everything perfectly and I wanted people to like me. As a result, there wasn't a lot of time or space for boundaries or self-care.

When I sat on the leadership team of that very successful and fast-growing wealth management company, leading a large team of people to whom I felt deeply committed, I felt as though, as the organisation grew, it needed more and more from me. I found it difficult to say ‘no’ to requests and demands from my boss, colleagues, team members and clients. I was always willing to take on more, believing it was my responsibility as a leader to set an example for others, and in a way, trying to prove my value. So what if I was working late most nights? So what if I was on-call seven days a week, twenty-four hours a day for a staff or media ‘crisis’ year after year after year? So what if I was getting sick more often? So what if I woke up anxious most mornings with my to-do list running my life? So what if joy and spontaneity were a dim memory?

I ignored my own care, and I ignored the other things that were important in my life. Until that one night I arrived home from an event, feeling empty and exhausted, and burst into tears. In that moment I had a sense that something inside of me was trying to reach me, a quiet whisper that something needed to change. ...