20 Dead Ends

“To begin with,” Lou continued, “it helps to understand how we don’t get out of the box.”

He wrote on the board, “What doesn’t work in the box.” Turning back to me, he said, “Think about the things we try to do when we’re in the box. For example, in the box, whom do we think has the problem?”

“Others,” I answered.

“That’s right,” he said, “so normally we spend a lot of energy in the box trying to change others. But does that work? Does that get us out of the box?”

“No.”

“Why not?” he asked.

“Because that’s the problem in the first place,” I said. “I’m trying to change them because, in the box, I think they need to be changed.”

“But does that mean no one needs to be changed?” Lou asked. “Is everyone doing things just perfectly, then? ...

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