Leadership Isn't For Cowards: How to Drive Performance by Challenging People and Confronting Problems

Chapter 7

Are You Honest?

Someone somewhere once said, “Honesty is always the best policy.” Really? Have you ever thought through the implications of that statement?

Ever had a person say something to you that was hurtful, unkind, or offensive? You ask them why they would say something like that and they answer, “I’m just being honest!” You probably want to respond, “Well, lie a little!”

People often confuse honesty with strong opinions—with something that they believe but that is not really true. I would like you to consider honesty from a different perspective.

Some years back, I was encouraged by a friend to go on a blind date. I have always had a policy against blind dates. They seldom work out well and the person setting me up always seems to lead with, “She has a great personality.”

My friend’s persuasiveness was capped with, “Look, Mike, your dating life is a desert. Just give it a try.” Reluctantly, I agreed to go out with his friend. We seemed to have some things in common, and she was attractive, too, based on the pictures we had exchanged online. All looked like a go.

I arrived at her home to pick her up, and when she came to the door . . . let’s just say she didn’t look exactly like her picture. Nevertheless, we had a nice evening with great conversation, but it became clear there was no second date in our future. There just wasn’t much chemistry, and neither of us was “feeling it.”

On the way home, she asked the one question no man wants to be asked. Drum roll, please! ...