Leadership Revolution

CHAPTER 2Letting Go of Outdated Thinking

Coach: I gave you a few ideas last time about taking the Big Leap.

Yeah, those were great! I'm excited!

Coach: So what have you actually done differently, to act on those ideas?

Ummmm …

Much of the real work in a coaching engagement doesn't actually happen during the actual sessions. Those meetings are vital, of course. But the real work—the real effort to take the big leap, not just identify or imagine it—happens between sessions. And sometimes it takes a little while for that reality to sink in.

Frequently, in fact, I'll start a second session by following up on specific suggestions or thinking from the first meeting—ideas that the coachee was enthusiastic about. But have they really acted on those ideas? Done something concretely different? About 75% of the time, the answer is no.

Much of the real work in a coaching engagement doesn't actually happen during the actual sessions.

That's okay. For starters, it's human nature. Plus, taking a big leap is scary! It can also be overwhelming. Most of all, it takes a lot of letting go—letting go of assumptions that have served you well in the past, of the comfortably familiar, of ways of viewing and being in the world that you've long taken for granted.

So I hope you agreed when I made my opening argument that the time has come to get past one‐size‐fits‐all approaches to training, management, coaching. But has your view about this really changed yet? Have you thought through (let alone ...