Leading Meetings and Teams

9 Understanding Differences with Social Style Theory

“You only want to talk about your own opinion.”

“I want you to speak up more, though!”

You'll encounter all kinds of people in meetings. Along with the people who speak their minds concisely, there are people who are reluctant to express their opinions at all and people who easily get emotional. If you want to draw out everyone's opinions in equal measure, you need to be able to handle each type individually. You need to figure out what their communication style is and take action accordingly.

Social style theory, proposed by sociologist David Merrill in the 1970s, is a social classification system consisting of four categories. You observe the person's external attitude, and classify them based on two axes: self‐assertiveness and emotional expressiveness. We tend to think of emotions in terms of happiness, sadness, anger, and pleasure, but it's more fitting to view anger toward someone as a display of self‐assertiveness.

I will now introduce the four types. As you read, try to keep in mind what your own type may be, as well as that of your coworkers.

(1) Driving (High Self‐Assertion / Low Emotional Expression):

A realist type that likes doing things their way and dislikes being told what to do

They are born leaders, they love strategy and competition, and dislike being told what to do. They decide their own paths and ...