Leading With Emotional Courage

CHAPTER 6IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT ACHIEVEMENT: STOP WORRYING ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU MATTER

For many years – almost as long as he could remember – Shane owned and ran a successful pub in his small town in Ireland. Shane was well known around town. He had lots of friends, many of whom he saw when they came to eat and drink, and he was happy.

Eventually, Shane decided to sell his establishment. Between his savings and the sale, he made enough money to continue to live comfortably. He was ready to relax and enjoy all his hard work.

Except that almost immediately, he became depressed. That was 15 years ago and not much has changed.

I've seen a version of Shane's story many times. The CEO of an investment bank. A famous French singer. The founder and president of a grocery store chain. A high-level government official. And these are not just stories – they're people I know (or knew) well.

They have several things in common: They were busy and highly successful. They had enough money to live more than comfortably for as long as they lived. And they all became seriously depressed as they got older.

What's going on?

The typical answer is that people need purpose in life and when we stop working, we lose purpose. But many of the people I see in this situation continue to work. The French singer continued to sing. The investment banker ran a fund.

Perhaps getting older is simply depressing. But we all know people who continue to be happy well into their late nineties. And some of the people who ...