Leading With Emotional Courage

CHAPTER 35BIGGER THAN YOU: WHY LEADERS SHOULD TRY TO BE OVERWHELMED

This was the fourth day of our five days together, and we were swirling in chaos. There were almost 30 of us in a small room as part of Ann Bradney's leadership workshop I wrote about earlier in this book.

Sara was on the floor, cradling the arm and leg she had broken several months earlier, feeling broken herself, crying as she thought about her son who died five years ago. A few feet away from her, Angelo stood with his hands on his chest, also crying, immersed in his experience of alienation from his mother. Across the room, Zoe was huddled with her sister, Chloe, as they felt the pain of losing their own mother and confronted their fear of losing each other.

As I looked around the room, I saw two or three other people scattered about, each struggling with deep emotions of loss, fear, anger, and sadness. The noise was disorienting. People were crying, laughing, shouting, hugging, and comforting each other, all at the same time. It was completely out of control.

Just like life itself.

We were a microcosm of the world and of every organization I've ever known. Not just the pain, though that certainly exists wherever we're brave enough to look, but the multiplicity of activity. The variety of individuals and groups, each occupied, engulfed even, by their own concerns, needs, and desires.

To top it off, we had only one established leader, Ann, to manage the mayhem. It was an impossible job. She couldn't be ...