Leading with Vulnerability

6The Land of the Goods

“Hey, how are you?

“Good, and you?”

“Good.”

“Okay, see you later.”

Have you ever had a conversation like this with a coworker? There is nothing actually being said during this brief exchange, so what's the point? Really what we're saying here is “hi” and getting a “hi” back. You don't get the feeling that the other person is actually interested in how you are doing nor are you honest with the other person about how you are doing. Even though we ask “How are you?” as a greeting we don't expect anyone to answer any other way than “fine” or “good” and most of the time, we aren't really looking for a truthful response.

Most of us work in “the land of the goods” where our organization and everyone around us is always doing “good.” It's a polite colloquialism that is used for everything and anything. We know that everyone isn't good. We know that people are feeling proud, stressed, burned out, accomplished, depressed, excited, disrespected, hurt, or optimistic, but we never say that.

John Williams is the CEO of Domtar, which is a 6,500‐person paper, pulp, and packaging products company. Here's what he shared with me: “You should not be afraid of letting people know what upsets you or makes you happy, especially if you're a leader. In today's world a lot of leaders especially silence themselves to their real feelings. This is ironic because what makes a great leader is their ability to build relationships, which you cannot do without talking about how you're ...