HEIRLOOM TECHNOLOGY

THE WIDOWMAKER: CUTTING DOWN A TREE

By Tim Anderson

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‘‘Screw your courage to the sticking place ...’’

—William Shakespeare

image WARNING! Get really drunk first. Then it won’t hurt so much when you chainsaw your face off and crush your family.

Step 0. Find a tree to cut down.
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No problem. As soon as you know how to cut down a tree, people will sense it and constantly ask you to cut down trees for them.

Here’s some helpful technical vocabulary: ...

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