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Managers as Mentors, 3rd Edition by Marshall Goldsmith, Chip R. Bell

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Listen to Learn: Be a Mirror

One of the biggest challenges of anyone with children striving to be a good parent is simply to listen without an agenda. Especially if a child is the second or third child, since the first one gave you lots of practice at saying no. Whenever a child begins to catalog his concerns, convictions, or curiosity, it is natural for a parent to feel the need to make a point, teach a lesson, correct an action, or offer some caution. But when a parent finally gives up trying to be a smart daddy and mommy and simply works at being a mirror, a child will begin to open up, trust, and—most important—feel heard.

When asked, “How would you … ?” wise parents work hard to remember to ask what they would do—before offering an opinion. ...

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