Me First

Mistake #4Yes syndrome

If you are continually saying yes to all the opportunities that come your way, then three things will happen:

1. You will quickly run out of time.
2. You will continue to put yourself last (which means you are actually saying no to yourself).
3. The requests will keep coming as you are a renowned go-to girl who always says yes and who always delivers.

There are two types of opportunities:

1. Those which require your time investment right now; for example, ‘Can I have five minutes of your time right now?’.
2. Those which require your time investment in the future.

The vast majority of opportunities that come your way fall into the latter category: they are future-facing opportunities that require you to commit today without the actual pain of spending your time today. You are committing to spending your time in the future, which makes for an easier yes (because it does not hurt right now!). This is a big trap: how often do you reflect back on that decision and think, It seemed like a good idea at the time, but what on earth was I thinking?

And just what were you thinking?

What other women say

I have a filter for the requests I receive: (i) Does it interest me? (ii) Can I add value? (iii) Will I be able to give my best? (iv) Does it fit with my family?

Janine Allis, Founder and Managing Director, Boost Juice (Retail Zoo)

I have trouble saying ‘No’ because it’s my nature to want to help. I try to work out what is really needed from the request and if I can facilitate ...