Me First

Mistake #6Guilt

My oldest child was eight months old when I fell pregnant again. Having agonised for months trying to fall pregnant the first time, it seems we had hit upon the recipe for success the second time around a little quicker than I had anticipated. And so I was already pregnant when I returned to work part time. My best-laid plans for the career and baby juggle were already out the window, and within a few short months of returning to work I was back on maternity leave.

I felt enormous pressure to return to work earlier than I really wanted after my second baby. The anguish of leaving that little baby at creche was almost debilitating. Part of the guilt was because I wanted to continue breastfeeding. I had fed my first son for 12 months and I could not get past the fact that if I was to feed my second son any less than 12 months, I would somehow affect his future or health, or in some way (God knows how) he might feel that I loved him less. And so, here is what I used to do: every day I would leave work at midday and drive back to the creche to feed him, and then put him to bed at creche and dash home to continue working remotely from the office, before collecting him and his brother in the afternoon. I did that every single work day for four months, until I could tick off that I fed him for a full 12 months.

Why do we do these things to ourselves?

Our job is to protect, love and nourish our babies. But was it really meant to be this hard? Every day as mums we are ...