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Negotiating with a Bully

Book Description

Everyone has felt bullied at some point in their lives, whether by a family member, childhood acquaintance, colleague, boss, or client. You know you have been bullied when you feel pressured, demeaned, and angered. You walked away from a negotiation feeling like you lost ground. You gave into demands and agreed to something that was not in your best interests. And you resented the way you felt. Negotiating with a Bully will teach you how to skillfully deal with bullies in different forms and environments. You’ll explore the mindset of a bully and understand the motivations and behavior so that you can gain an advantage over him or her. Negotiating with a Bully will give you the answers you need to become a more effective negotiator when you are confronted by a bully. You will learn how to quickly and easily: Recognize the tactics of a bully—before you yield ground in a negotiation. Employ an arsenal of negotiation strategies, including some you may have never considered using before. Plan a negotiation with a bully so that you feel prepared to tackle the situation. Interpret the body language of the bully—and his or her target—to better assess his or her intentions.

Table of Contents

  1. Cover Page
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright
  4. Dedication
  5. Acknowledgments
  6. Contents
  7. Foreword
  8. 1: Recognizing Bullies
    1. BULLY TYPES
    2. THE SHIFT OF POWER
    3. MANIPULATION
    4. OVERLY AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR
    5. THE MOTIVATIONS OF BULLIES
    6. BODY SIZE
    7. THE MAKING OF A BULLY
    8. PRIMING
    9. ROLE-PLAYING AS PREPARATION
    10. THE PERCEPTION OF BULLYING IN NEGOTIATIONS
    11. MANIPULATION AND BACK-DOOR STRATEGEIS
    12. IN CONCLUSION
    13. HOMEWORK
  9. 2: Body Language: Interpreting the Signals
    1. THE FACE
    2. THROAT
    3. HANDS
    4. TORSO
    5. FEET
    6. CONGRUENT BODY LANGUAGE
    7. ANTICIPATING BODY LANGUAGE
    8. SIZE MATTERS
    9. BODY LANGUAGE SIGNALS TO JUDGE EFFECTIVENESS OF NEGOTIATION
    10. OBSERVING FOR ESCALATION
    11. SUBDUING A BULLY
    12. SHOW OF FORCE
    13. MIND YOUR BODY LANGUAGE
    14. VERIFYING THE BULLY'S MINDSET
    15. SPEECH CLUES
    16. RESPECT OR DISRESPECT THROUGH BODY LANGUAGE
    17. BULLIES IN THEIR ENVIRONMENT
    18. IN CONCLUSION
    19. HOMEWORK
  10. 3: Strategies: Fighting Back
    1. PICKING THE RIGHT DEMEANOR
    2. INTERACTING VERSUS NEGOTIATING WITH A BUUY
    3. BULLYING BEHAVIOR VERSUS MISUNDERSTANDING
    4. STRATEGIES FOR BULLY TYPES
    5. CONFRONTING A BULLY DURING NEGOTIATION
    6. ESCALATION OF A NEGOTIATION
    7. WATCHING THE BULLY'S BEHAVIORAL CLUES
    8. STRATEGIES FOR COMBATTING BULLYING
    9. MISDIRECTION TO DISTRACT OR CONFRONT A BULLY
    10. SQUASHING BULLYING BEHAVIOR AT WORK
    11. ROLE-PLAYING AND THE BULLY'S POWER
    12. IN CONCLUSION
    13. HOMEWORK
  11. 4: Targeting the Vulnerable in the Workplace
    1. WHY CORPORATIONS AND INDUSTRIES ARE RIPE FOR BULLYING
    2. ANALYZE A WORK CULTURE BEFORE JOINING IT
    3. OTHER REASONS WHY PEOPLE ARE BULLIED
    4. BODY TYPES THAT CAN PREVENT BULLYING
    5. IDENTIFYING SUBTLE FORMS OF BULLYING
    6. NEGOTIATION STRATEGIES
    7. BEWARE OF BLOWBACK
    8. THE VALUE OF TEAMWORK
    9. UNDERSTANDING WHY PEOPLE ARE BULLIES
    10. USING LEVERAGE TO PREVENT BULLYING
    11. SUPPORT SYSTEMS
    12. BULLYING IN A NEGOTIATION
    13. ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF BULLYING
    14. IN CONCLUSION
    15. HOMEWORK
  12. 5: Costs: Pinpointing the Price of Bullying
    1. BULLYING AT HOME
    2. BULLYING AT SCHOOL
    3. FINANCIAL COSTS OF WORKPLACE BULLYING
    4. EMOTIONAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL COSTS
    5. REDUCING THE COSTS OF BULLIES
    6. IN CONCLUSION
    7. HOMEWORK
  13. 6: Putting It All Together
    1. WHO IS AROUND THE BULLY?
    2. KNOWING THE BULLY
    3. RESPONDING TO AUTHORITY ON THE SPOT
    4. TARGETING THE VULNERABLE
    5. TIMING
    6. VISUAL CUES
    7. KNOWING YOUR NEGOTIATION OBJECTIVE
    8. STRENGTH OF THE NEGOTIATORS
    9. PSYCHOLOGICAL PLOYS
    10. STOPPING THE CYCLE
    11. IN CONCLUSION
    12. HOMEWORK
  14. Notes
    1. CHAPTER 1
    2. CHAPTER 2
    3. CHAPTER 3
    4. CHAPTER 4
    5. CHAPTER 5
    6. CHAPTER 6
  15. Index