No One Ever Told Us That: Money and Life Lessons for Young Adults

CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO

MARRIAGE

I was married for 45 years and have written about or observed hundreds of other marriages, maybe many more than that. My team and I watch over several thousand people's financial lives, and you can tell by now that it's a very psychiatric business the way we run it. In Susan's and my marriage, we had an early rule: in any controversy, whoever had the stronger opinion, who cared most, won. Two times my wife wanted us to move: once from the suburbs to the city, once from a house in the city to an apartment. I was not so sure, but not adamant, about the subject. My point of view was the pain-in-the-neck part of moving, not so much the concept.

“I'm going to do 90 percent of the organization anyway,” she said.

She was right. We moved both times. In each case it proved wonderful.

I wanted our second son to go to the summer camp in Maine where I had been a counselor. Susan resisted. Her summer camp experience had been marginal at best. In fact, she'd hated every minute of camp. I won that potential battle because I cared about it much more than she did. Now my youngest grandson goes to the same camp. Lots of beats go on and on in life, if you're lucky. Marriage involves compromise more than anything else, and strategy, if you're smart, assuming you both want to keep it all together. One of my clients for a long time was one of the creators of the children's series Curious George. Her name was Margret Rey, a very difficult person who suffered fools not at all ...