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No One Understands You and What to Do About It by Heidi Halvorson

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Chapter 8

The Clingy, Anxious Perceiver and the Aloof, Avoidant Perceiver

I have two dear friends who are sisters. They are both highly educated, brilliant businesswomen who have enjoyed quite a bit of career success. But knowing them as well as I do, I believe that they would have enjoyed a great deal more success by now if they were both just a little bit better at dealing with people.

They have very different problems when it comes to their (lack of) social skills. One sister, whom I’ll call “Sarah,” is needy, overly accommodating, and highly sensitive to rejection, while “Emily” is aloof and has difficulty making connections with others. But both of these problems stem in large part from their childhood and are manifestations of a single ...

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