Often low-budget filmmakers get thrown into the position of being not only the director, but their own producer. Using tips from the finest washed-up has-been producers in the business, this book will give the low-budget filmmaker practical tools for getting a movie shoot started, and keeping it going until it is supposed to end. From budgeting concerns to production-damaging acts of God, all will be discussed.
Table of contents
- Front Cover
- Produce Your Own Damn Movie
- Table of Incontinence
- Introduction : Charlie Kaufman Is My Doppelgänger or Why I Want to Blow My Fucking Brains Out
- Chapter 1 Preamble: Penniless in Pittsburgh Asks Lloyd
Chapter 1: Producing Models and Car Models or Producing America’s Next Top Tromodel
- Producer Vocabulary Lesson #1: Executive Producer
- Out with the Old. . .
- . . .And in with the Who?
- The End
- Five Producing Models
- Attempt #2 to Define “ Executive Producer” by Avi Lerner
- Chapter 2 Preamble: Nervous in Naples Asks Lloyd
Chapter 2: How I Got a Rabbi to Hate Jews or How I Let Oliver Stone Beat the Crap Out of Me to Hone His Producer Skills
- Producer Vocabulary: Co-Executive Producer
- Speaking of Yale. . .
- But Enough About Halitosis
- Mark Harris Finds Art in the Passion, Not Necessarily the Deal
- A Possible Reversal of Fortune?
- Don’t Believe in the Top 100, Top 10 or Top Anything Lists
- Just Like JFK and Nixon
- How Steven Paul Got Started at the Ripe Old Age of 12
- Joe Dante Explains the Ideal Relationship
- Back to the Big Fuss
- Mick Garris Distinguishes the Masters of Horrors
- Chapter 3 Preamble: So Close in So. Cal Asks Lloyd
- Chapter 3: Film School or Porno? Taint No Difference or My Dinner with Louis Su
- Chapter 4 Preamble: Losing It in Las Vegas Asks Lloyd
Chapter 4: Producing Movies Inevitably Gets You Stoned (And Is Really, Really Hard) or A Union Dose of Some Shirley Jackson Optimism Goes a Long Way
- Producer Vocabulary: Co-Producer
- A Note from My Editrix
- Who Is John Carpenter?
- The Ultimate Self-Stoning Job, or There’s a Hole in My Begel Bagel , Man: A Short History of David Begelman
- A Lottery Ticket with a Big “ ? ” on the Prize
- How Shanley Gave Lloyd the Shaft . . . ley by Matt Lawrence, Resident Troma Bitch
- Getting Stood Up by Oscar
- You Don’t Have to Be a Shithead to Be a Producer
- Which Way Went Blair Witch?
- Climbing High Up at IHOP: Lessons from Stan Lee
- Terry Jones Tells Us Why His Producer Was Not the Messiah, Just A Very Naughty Boy!
- Quoth the Draven, Evermore
- Why Tamar Simon Hoffs Always Makes Up Three Different Budgets for the Same Film
- The MPAA Lottery
- Paul Hertzberg Advises Against Falling in Love with an Un-Commercial Project
- Avi Lerner and Buddy Giovinazzo Say Unions Cause America’s Lottery
- My Perfect Night In
- Making a Movie Sucks: “ Why Are We Doing This — We Hate Making Movies! ” by Stoning Victims Trey Parker and Matt Stone
- This is Fucking Depressing . . . Anybody Else Want to Stop Reading and Go Out for a Beer?
- Chapter 5 Preamble: Eager in Erie Asks Lloyd
Chapter 5: Is There a Business Plan? Is IMDB Ass? or Secrets of Financing and Producing from the Pickled Brain of an Elaborate Non-pyramid Schemer
- Producer Vocabulary: Line Producer
- A Note from My Editrix
- Line Producer
- A Few Words via E-mail from my Co-Author Ashley
- Compare, Contrast, Coagulate: Lloyd’s Producing and Acting Resumes on www.lloydkaufman.com and www.imdb.com
- The Accidental Business Plan
- Roger Corman Puts His Finger on the Money Question
- Real Talk About Real Estate and “ Reel ” Mistakes
- Avi Lerner Reminds Us That Producing Is Not Just an Art: It’s a Business
- Simple Math is My Favorite Kind. . . Call It Tro – Math
- Brian Yuzna Tells You How Money Has Changed Over the Years
- A Little More Exploitation for the Road
- Jist So This Chipter Don’t Seam Two Poifect. . .
- Intermission : Andy Deemer’s Production Diaries
- Chapter 6 Preamble: Starstruck in Starbucks Asks Lloyd
Chapter 6: Pre-Sell Your Flick in a Game of Five-Card Stud or Go For a Straight Flush
- Producer Vocabulary: Associate Producer
- What Is the IFTA and Why You, Mr./Ms. Producer, Ought to Give a Shit!
- Just How Does the IFTA Defi ne an “ Independent Film ” ?
- Why the Heck I Ran for IFTA Chairperson
- What’s so Friggin ’ Important About the United States v. Paramount Pictures, Inc. (1948)?
- What Are the Financial Interest and Syndication Rules?
- Comedy Central Proves My Point
- Brian Yuzna Gives You a Lesson on Evolution from the Video Boom to the Modern Age
- What Is Pre-Selling?: Lloyd Asks Paul Hertzberg
- More on That Pre-Selling Thing from a Sales Agent (Who, In My Opinion, Is Also a Producer): An Interview with Kathy Morgan About Her Game of Five-Card Stud (Actor, Director, Producer, Script, Domestic Distribution)
- But Why Would I Need a Sales Agent? I Know How to Hustle! b y Jean Prewitt
- Chapter 7 Preamble: Anxious in Anchorage Asks Lloyd
Chapter 7: Fuck Me Jesus on a Pogo Stick! Where Am I Going to Produce My Own Damn Movie? or The Secrets of the Location Vocation
- Producer Vocabulary: Location Manager
- Producer Vocabulary: Unit Production Manager
- Location Locution: Choosing a Location and Getting It in Writing and Lots More
- Hanger : A Case Study and Melvina Gets Her Groove On
- What State Are You In?
- The Unstoppable, Legendary Pat Swinney Kaufman
- Paul Hertzberg Gives Us a Reason to Stop Making Fun of Canadians
- Bunny-Hopping My Way to a Movie of the Future
- My Catering Standards
- How Do You Even Pay People to Begin With? Setting Up an LLC
- Whatever You Do, Get Insurance!
- How Debbie Rochon Did Not Get a Hand or Can You Digit? by Debbie Rochon
- Brian Yuzna Also Defects North
- Trent Haaga Gets Thrown in the Trent-ches on Location
- Brian Yuzna Ran From the Indies to the Andes in his Undies—or at Least From Indonesia to Spain
- Long Before There Was Charlie Kaufman, There Was Charles Kaufman by Charlie Kaufman
- Chapter 8 Preamble: Pumped Up in Peoria Asks Lloyd
Chapter 8: How to Do It Hollywood-Style or I am the Herpes of the Film Industry: I Won’t Go Away
- Producer Vocabulary: Assistant Producer
- Producing , Directing, and Lloyd, Oh My by James Gunn
- Working at Troma Isn’t Always Toxierrific!
- The Two Heads of Lloyd Kaufman
- Avi Lerner: A Rambo- Style Rebel in Hollywood
- Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor Crank It Up
- The Duplass Brothers ’ Motto: “ Make Movies, Not Meetings ”
- Kingpin Brad Krevoy Unmasks the Hollywood Mystery ”
- The Way In: High-Voltage Wisdom from Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor While Larry Cohen Says “ God Told Me to Write a Great Script ”
- Chapter 9 Preamble: Frustrated in Frankfurt Asks Lloyd
Chapter 9:Face the Music : Post-production and Distribution or Pump Up Your Production to a Higher Level
- Producer Vocabulary: Internet
- Joe Lynch Likes Makin ’ Music (Videos) by Joe Lynch
- The Duplass Brothers Say Go for the Volume (and Neveldine and Taylor Interject)
- Thank You for the Music by Dennis Dreith
- Editing and Post-production: A Troma Fan Teaches You Everything You Need to Know About Free Software to Produce and Edit Your Own Damn Movie by Daniel Archambeault-May
- Herschell Gordon Lewis Says “ Distribution Distribution, Distribution ”
- Doing the Distribution Dance by Mark Damon
- A Late-Night E-mail from My Former Assistant and Former Co-Writer, Sara Antill
- Afterword Preamble: Frugal in Fargo Asks Lloyd
- TromAfterword : Dammit! Why Are You Reading This?!
- A Trio of E-mail Exchanges Among Ashley, Elinor, and Lloyd, and A Final Final Ending to This Book About Producing
- Index Gyno’s Bitchin’ Index
- Title: Produce Your Own Damn Movie!
- Release date: September 2012
- Publisher(s): Routledge
- ISBN: 9781136059414
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