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Produce Your Own Damn Movie! by Lloyd Kaufman

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Chapter | eight

How to Do It Hollywood-Style Or I Am the Herpes of the Film Industry: I Won’t Go Away

ASSISTANT PRODUCER: In effect, this term is interchangeable with that of “Associate Producer,” yet falls several notches lower on the producer totem pole than the Associate Producer. This job is perhaps better understood by adding the tag line “and cleans the toilets” at the end.

Synonyms: Producer’s Bitch

Example: “Joe is the Assistant Producer on this film.”

“Oh, is that like the Associate Producer?”

“Yeah, except that he’ll also be cleaning the toilets.”

You may find this difficult to believe, but I didn't grow up with the intention of becoming a depressed old man who makes movies about chicken zombies and spends his ...

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