Profit from Procurement

11CONSULTANTS: Using Consultants in Procurement

OK, so let's get the consultant joke out of the way, shall we? Nothing like a bit of self-deprecation on behalf of your authors. Here's one of our favorites:

A man in a hot air balloon descends over a meadow where a shepherd is tending his flock.

After the balloonist greets the man, he asks him, “If I tell you how many sheep you have without having to count them, will you give me one of them?”

The shepherd agrees.

The man in the balloon says, “You have 100 sheep.”

A bit surprised, the shepherd says, “How did you know?”

“Well,” says the man, “your field is about 5 km by 5 km, and in this part of the wilderness you can graze four sheep on each square km of land. So, 5×5 is 25 square km × 4 is 100 sheep.”

“Wow, you're right,” said the shepherd, “please take your pick of my sheep!”

After the man in the balloon selects his sheep, the shepherd turns to him and says, “If I tell you what you do for a living, will you give me my animal back?”

The man in the balloon agrees. The shepherd says, “You are a consultant.”

The man in the balloon is amazed at the insight that the shepherd has shown and says, “How on earth did you know I am a consultant?”

The shepherd answers, “You showed up here, fueled by nothing but hot air, even though nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. And you don't know a thing about my business…now give me back my dog!”

Love the ending there. But on a more serious ...