No one can make you feel anything

The belief that we have total control over our responses to other people and can determine entirely the impact they have on us is surprisingly widespread. Dr Kate Wachs summarises the position as follows:

‘Just as money can’t make you happy, other people can’t make you happy either. No one can make anyone think or feel or do anything. The only person who has that distinction is the person who owns the thoughts, feelings, and behaviour. When you accept this truth, then and only then can you be truly happy.’

The view expressed here is no longer the preserve of wibbly self-help books – now it’s commonplace in management development coaching. Nearly all of us must have had the startling revelation that ...

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