Radical Collaboration : Five Essential Skills to Overcome Defensiveness and Build Successful Relationships

CHAPTER 14

WHAT DOES EVERYBODY REALLY NEED?

(Understanding the Underlying Interests)

I ask for the moon to give myself plenty of “bargaining room.” You, of course, offer only a fraction of what you think is fair, to give yourself plenty of “bargaining room.” Then typically we spend a tremendous amount of energy trying to convince each other of the “tightness” of our position and the fallacies of the other’s position.

Eventually, positioning gives way to some movement, usually through compromise or serial concessions. Sometimes it is simply the superior strength of one side or the other, or possibly the intervention of some outside political or market pressures. Sometimes people just run out of time or energy and give in. If there is enough movement ...