Reimagine Inclusion

MYTH 6Why Are You Asking for a Raise? You and Your Husband Make More Than Enough Money.

“Oh come on, Mita,” a former manager chuckled. “Why are you asking for a raise?  You and your husband make more than enough money!”

This was his immediate response when I asked for my compensation to be reviewed. I had researched and read every article on the topic of negotiating to prepare for asking for more money. I knew my value: I understood what others in roles similar to mine, both internally and externally, were earning. I knew where my performance stood: I had been consistently given high ratings during past performance reviews. Leaders across the organization all continued to vouch for my significant impact with feedback and testimonials. I picked the best time to bring up the topic of my compensation: during my annual performance review conversation when I knew the company gave out merit‐based increases and bonuses and reviewed overall salaries. I practiced and practiced: I showed up confident, positive, and smiling. Because I was uncomfortable talking about money, I needed to ensure I was being valued for my expertise and track record of success. Being valued meant being paid fairly.

When he asked the question, I was stunned into silence. I didn't know how to respond or what to say. In that moment, he made me feel ashamed for even asking. And I felt a surge of anger for being devalued. I felt a lump growing in my throat as he swiftly changed topics. Rewinding that scene in my ...